Part Fifteen

In Jade’s defense, I hadn’t exactly shut the door very well. She could have easily interpreted ‘we can talk about this later’ in a variety of ways, when I was really just trying to buy myself some time.

She didn’t keep pushing. After her observation regarding how hot it would be to hook up in my classroom, she gave me a wink and then walked away. I shouldn’t have been watching her go, though it was difficult to look away from the sway of her hips. It was only a few seconds before she turned the corner, after which I let out a breath I had been holding for who knows how long. Also, Jade hadn’t said it would be ‘hot’ to fool around here; she had said ‘interesting.’ Which meant I was the one who mentally shifted to the slightly less appropriate word.

And, to her credit, she respected my boundaries. I half expected to see her waiting on my doorstep when I arrived home, or to show up at some point throughout the afternoon or evening. But, she didn’t. No unannounced visit sprung on me, nor even a text from the girl. A small part of me was disappointed, even though I knew better.

What was on my phone, however, was the selfie she had taken of her lingerie clad body. This wasn’t the first time I was looking at it, of course, though now I was grateful she had taken it in the cautious way. The photo was mostly from the neck down. Mostly. Jade had included her sultry smirk in the image, which paired well with her cleavage below. Still, there were no identifying features save for the auburn hair behind her bare shoulder. Smart. Giving someone you just met a nude with your face in it wasn’t typically the best idea. I would never share something so personal that was meant just for me, but there were plenty of people who would.

Personally, I was glad I didn’t have a photo that was clearly one of my students who was half dressed in my living room. Which meant . . . I didn’t have to delete it? I knew it was wrong to keep. At the same time, Jade and I hadn’t technically reached closure on any of this yet.

Once I was settled back at my place, I ended up thinking about a lot more than simply how to explain to her that we shouldn’t. Now that I knew that she was not only a high school senior, but a girl in one of my classes, continuing what we had started was a terrible idea. Even if we were careful, even if we leaned into the teacher/student thing in terms of sneaking around and getting off on the risk, there was the whole ‘jeopardizing my career/future’ thing.

The problem was, it was a lot easier for the lines to blur between fantasy and reality once I was no longer in my classroom.

Jade was fucking hot. I enjoyed my time with her at the bar, and obviously had a good time when she invited herself over. And though I knew it had been a mistake, and would continue to be a mistake if I gave into my impulses, I couldn’t help but flash through a number of images involving her. Jade, under my desk. Or sitting on top of my desk, with her legs spread. Even the girl slipping me another note while fully clothed was somewhat of a turn-on, as she would be doing so when any number of other students around could catch one of my glances or one of her flirty looks.

I knew it was wrong to think about her like that. It didn’t matter that she was eighteen and mature for her age; letting my imagination run wild in private would almost certainly make those mental images flare up when I next saw her in my classroom.

Then there was the matter of her directive. I was supposed to ‘wait for her.’ So far, I had. Now that we weren’t going to see that through, I could get myself off without ruining her teasing games. Honestly, it would probably make me think more clearly. Unless doing so while Jade was on my mind ended up being counterproductive.

Suffice to say, it was not a particularly productive afternoon or restful evening. I had some prep to do for the following day, which I tackled to the best of my ability while putting off the more pressing task.

At most, I had bought myself 24 hours by ending that conversation with Jade. She would almost certainly swing by after my last class to pick things up where we left off, at which point I would need to be ready. Unlike my curriculum, I could only prepare so well for a girl who had already proven she could throw anything my way. Short of outright shutting her down, there was no getting away from her teasing or flirting. And if I did end things in a way that was rather final, I also needed to make sure she would continue to keep this to herself.

I didn’t think that Jade would try to hold this over my head or anything, even if it was a one time thing. But also, secrets were tricky. If she told just one friend of hers, that doubled the chances of it getting out. Then again, she could just as easily confide in a girlfriend of hers either way, so it wasn’t as if that made a difference.

By the time I had finished dinner and everything else I needed to get done, I was no closer sorting out my decision regarding Jade. Or, more accurately, I knew what I needed to do, but not how to do it.

Part of my personal hesitation was the fact that I was still tempted. Despite everything, I couldn’t help but think of the possibilities. What would she and I do, exactly, if we agreed to be each others’ dirty little secret?

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