parts 1-4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9

July 18th, 2024

Last night Hannah, Brandon, and I went to dinner at a nice Ethiopian restaurant not far from my house. I opened up to them about what was happening between me and Terry and they were very kind about it, if maybe at a loss about how to support me. Which is understandable – they are, after all, very young. They asked what they could do and I told them I needed to feel pampered tonight. So after dinner we went to the clothing-optional hot tub and soaked for about an hour. There’s no touching allowed there, but we held hands under the water and talked and flirted. As we were getting dressed they asked me what I wanted to do next and I told them to take me home. I’d eaten a low-dose cannabis gummy after dinner to help me relax, so I was feeling pretty good in my body and I just wanted them to love on me.

We walked into my house and everyone had some water to rehydrate from the hot tub and then we went to my bedroom. The sex was infinitely better than my first three-way. In college I had sex with two of my teammates from the soccer team who were clearly more into each other than either was into me, which was very awkward and not very fun. That’s not what happened last night. I shared a long kiss with Hannah, followed by another long kiss with Brandon while I unbuttoned my blouse and pulled down my bra straps. Both of them had their hands on my skin and guided me to my king-sized bed. Once I was lying comfortably down, they kissed each other and took their tops off as well. They were really beautiful in that moment. Hannah and Brandon climbed into the bed and sat on either side of me and stroked my arms, breasts, belly, waist, while they made out over my body and I reached up to touch them both on their bare skin. My body flooded with happiness. They took off my shorts together and laid down, still on either side of me.

Pretty quickly I lost track of whose hands were where and who was kissing me, and just got lost in the moment. We fucked for over an hour and a half and I’m not going to give a full account of everything that happened. Some moments that stood out, though: Hannah kneeling between my legs fingering me while Brandon stood next to the bed teasing my nipples with his fingers and dangling his erection where I could just reach its tip with my lips and tongue. Brandon kissing up and down my legs and thighs while I kissed and fingered Hannah. Fingering myself while Brandon fucked Hannah next to me. Hannah sitting on my face while Brandon fucked me and they kissed each other over my body. Hannah with her face in my crotch eating me out while Brandon fucked her from behind. Hannah and I grinding our clits against each other while Brandon sat recovering from his last orgasm. But the moment that really changed everything was Brandon very gently penetrated me, rocking back and forth so slightly you almost couldn’t see it but I could feel it. It was then, as Hannah softly stroked my whole body, periodically bending down to shower my lips, shoulders, neck, and breasts with kisses, that I started to cry. Hannah asked if I was okay and I said yes. She asked if I wanted to stop and I said no. She asked why I was crying and I told her I just felt so well taken care of, which was true, but not the whole story. Because that was the moment that I understood that we were having breakup sex, and I would be losing them soon.

I was right, of course. As we lay all three of us in the bed they told me that Brandon was going to be staying with his mom - about an hour away - next week to get his things in order before going off to school on the other side of the state. Hannah wanted to close their relationship for now, to be exclusive while they get used to doing long-distance. And yes, I had been using them, and they had been using me, and the age difference meant that we were never going to be in a real relationship, not that I’m ready or want one, but it still hurt. They asked if I wanted them to stay the night and I said yes, but even with all of the room in my king-sized bed it still got too hot and around one in the morning I got up and went to sleep on the couch, leaving them alone in my bedroom. This morning I made us all breakfast, we hugged and kissed our goodbyes, and agreed that maybe down the line we’d all meet up again, or maybe just me and Hannah if that feels right.

To be clear, I am not done with my hoe phase. Two weeks of teasing a stranger and two weeks of my first sex with new people since I got married is not enough to satisfy my need for distraction and validation following being cheated on and going through a separation from my spouse. This is the end of the first chapter though. I don’t know where I go from here, but I made a tinder account and already have ten matches, so I guess we’ll see.