This is my journey to becoming a Multi-Orgasmic man, and why I feel it should be essential training for every male.

Every time my ex-wife and I had sex, her personal goal was to get me off, and the faster the better. I was fit, in my mid-20s, good-looking, and a dad. And while I enjoyed her attention and efforts in the beginning, I was concerned with her apparent lack of interest or need in getting off herself. No reason for her not to really enjoy our sack time. But in her mind, she valued her abilities as a sex partner on how fast she could make a guy come. She rarely had an orgasm. In time I became an oral sex expert and would spend not less than 45 minutes with my tongue numb from going down on her just to get her off since there was no way I could last that long fucking her. I tried everything, and still, the best I could do was perhaps 10 minutes and she was nowhere near close to orgasm and I was coming all over the place, completely spent, and that was a marathon event for us.

I began to have some anxiety about this, which considering the brain is our largest and most important sex organ, was an issue given my situation. I wanted to last longer, fuck her until she came, and then be able to hold off on her efforts to get me off. Then Viagra hit the market, about $20 a pill back then, and the only prescription drug if you had no erection. I was still having great erections, so no need. However, I thought that perhaps if I took one, I might be able to come the first time and then go again a second time, but never tried this approach.

Finally, I decided to discover a way to increase my ability to hold off my orgasm. I tried OraJel, on my cock head, then a condom, and sure, took some time to overcome that numb cock, but it was not fun so what was the point?

Then I bought a book called “ESO - Extended Sexual Orgasm”, read it completely, and secretly started doing some of the exercises and workouts described in the book. I was lucky that I had a job where weekly travel was required so I almost always had long periods of time driving and or staying in hotels, which gave me alone time to practice and exercise. I then found a book called “The Multi-Orgasmic Man” by Mantak Chia. Read that and now both books traveled with me as I spent hours a day doing Kegels, strengthening my pelvic floor while I drove from place to place. Yes, you can do hundreds and then thousands of Kegels while driving, and that work pays off. More in a bit.

Lastly, I would spend time daily masturbating, but in a way less fun, more technical way than you think. What I learned in my reading and other research is simple. Orgasms and Ejaculation are not the same and are in fact, two separate bodily functions, capable of happening one without the other, at will.

I soon discovered that with a strong pelvic floor (The result of hundreds of thousands of Kegels, and still growing stronger) you can have an orgasm without ejaculating, once you know exactly where you are in your arousal state. That means I use a scale of 1-10 for arousal, 1 is none, and 10 is ejaculation. Nightly, I would put porn on the laptop, and let my cock go from soft to raging hard, stroking and playing with it while consciously noting along the way where I was, exactly, on my 1 to 10 scale. Then once fully erect, I would start to stimulate myself and work up to various levels, then letting the arousal fall back down with no stimulation, over and over and over again. Once you get to say 7-8 on the 10 scale so that I was fully engaged, turned on, and close but not there yet, you have to learn to stay in this range without rushing over the edge. And this is where the magic happens. After months and months of practice, edging and working up to but not falling off the edge at 10 and coming, I would play with my cock. Night after night. As often as I could.

Sure, sometimes I would fail, an ejaculation sneaks past my best efforts and I would cum. But all you can do is enjoy it and then wait and start over again. The goal is this - get to a level 9, without going over the edge, and then use Kegels to contract your muscles, rhythmically squeeze them, and thrust as if you are ejaculating, until you feel your orgasm roll over you. That’s the sensation the first time it happened to me. It was not that satisfying, yet, but I felt like I controlled it and partly made it happen, and kept expecting to see or feel ejaculation, and when I didn't I knew I was on to something big!

Was it as good as an orgasm and ejaculation all at once? No. Not the first time, but it was still very good. What was better was that I had an orgasm, did NOT ejaculate, and my cock was still diamond-cutter hard, raging red, and ready to explode! After I caught my breath and my arousal had dropped back down to say 7 on the scale, I started jacking off again, cautiously at first then harder than before, pre-cum flowing like crazy from the tip of my cock, and again, when I got to level 9, squeezed my Kegels, and I squeezed into a second orgasm and still no ejaculation!

Voila… I was multi-orgasmic. After many months more of my practice sessions, thousands more Kegels, and a personal best of 4 orgasms (3 without ejaculation, the last one with), in about an hour of playing by myself, I felt I was ready to share my new abilities with my wife.

For months now she had, I think, subtly noticed that I was able to fuck her a little longer each time, stopping along the way to have my silent orgasm, then keep going. She kept asking me what was wrong, then she would work even harder to get me off, using all of her tricks that would push me over the edge. Finally, after I felt I was ready to showcase my newfound skills with her, I planned a romantic evening, the kids were in bed and asleep and I told her what I had been doing for the past 14 months while away working and traveling. She was a little cautious, asked me why I would do this, and I could tell she felt betrayed, which was NOT what I had expected. Once I made her understand the reasons for my desire to hold off, so that she too could orgasm just from my cock fucking her pussy, she was willing to let me do my thing.

45 minutes later she had her second orgasm while we fucked and I had my 4th. It was amazing for us both, but she seemed off, and I realized she had just lost her one thing in the bedroom that obviously was a source of her pride and personal views of herself as a woman. I had taken back my sexuality and control over my orgasms.

That was the beginning of the end of our marriage, which had other issues that she had refused to address in therapy and we were divorced a few years later.

Here’s the takeaway from my experience. Own your sexuality. Do whatever you have to within reason to practice and take control over your own pleasure. It is NOT someone else's fault or responsibility. Stop making excuses. If you are unfit or overweight, start there first. Get in shape and lose some weight. And don’t worry about what your partner says or thinks… did I want a divorce, no. But I have kept my multi-orgasmic skills since learning them, and she now has to deal with guys who cannot fuck her long enough to get her off. And every single woman I have been with since has been amazed and enthralled with my ability to fuck as long as I want. In fact, my personal best was 27 orgasms in over 3 hours of straight fucking until I thought we both would die from sex!

Performance anxiety-induced ED is not an issue so long as your mind knows you have this ability. Cumming is not an issue so long as you know you can fuck and cum at will. And as men, we know that visual stimuli (Porn, etc) can create an increased heightened response, but even with all the added stimuli in the world in front of you, these skills still overcome such extreme eroticism. Confidence in your abilities in bed is the single greatest aphrodisiac in the world, and no one can take that away from you once you master your abilities and are multi-orgasmic. You have nothing to lose, except a year of time and practice, and the cost of a book or two.

I cannot think of a single better gift to give yourself than full control over your own sexuality and sexual performance.