I previously dated an ESFJ things got a little heated and I was yelling at the top of my lungs and the ESFJ was just sitting there blank face calmly telling me to leave. I did leave but I did a lot of yelling about it first. When I get excited my voice raises and when I'm mad it's really raised often without me noticing. By the time I notice I'm yelling it's too late to unyell or speak quietly because by then I'm pissed off. I think yelling is an appropriate reaction to being pissed off. Once I was in an argument with a roommate and they asked why I was yelling and I told them it was because they were pissing me off.

I don't understand how I can control most facets of my life but not my temper when enraged. Boy am I quick to anger...What really upsets me is that somehow the FEELER has better control over their emotions than me the THINKER. How does that even work? I can't believe people get angry and don't express it vocally.

Older ENTJs what are some exercises I can do to reel in my temper when things get heated? I already do the doing things with the left hand technique and now I'm on my way to becoming ambidextrous with a simmering temper. I'm a man in my late 20's and I don't want to be a yeller anymore...I want to calmly say, "You're pissing me off."
Essentially the problem is modernality bc if it were still legal to challenge people to a duel I'd either be dead or known as the guy not to fuck with. Also why isn't there a pill or something that makes women just as strong as men, there are some I want to hit bc I respect them as an equal which means they should be getting equal opportunity to catch these hands. Disclaimer, "I don't hit women, I just wish they were equally strong so I could challenge them to duels as well."

Why won't the people I disagree with agree to box with me? I just sometimes wish violence could solve the issue. I hate that I often lose my temper before realizing it or caring. I hate people who get angry and don't yell let it out of display their anger, its unnatural and disturbing to me. I guess that says a lot about my upbringing.... But yeah if everyone could carry boxing gloves with them or have some in preparation for a duel that would be splendid.

That turned into a rant...sorry any advice other than therapy (already in therapy) would be helpful.