Edit: holy cow thanks for the awards! I'm honestly surprised!

So I'm not 1000% sure if this belongs here, but I found this out a couple days ago, and it's kinda irked me. (It's a bit of a venting post but also wanting to know what y'all think ig)

TW: self harm, emotional abuse (neglect?)

So a little back story: my mom and dad (rip dad) used to argue and scream at each other, all the time. There were plenty of times where my mom forced us kids to sit there and watch them fight so neither of them got physical (it probably happened more than I remember, but I only remember them getting physical twice), which is very traumatizing. When I was 8 after my dad had a brain aneurysm burst, she separated from him and took the 4 out of 6 of us that were minors (me and 3 of my bros). My dad did eventually move back to us, but it was like a year or two after my mom up and left him while he was recovering(she's kinda a psycho) We moved to the state I live in now (in the middle of the school year), and it's been hell on earth since. Not only was younger me separated from my favorite parent (yes I'm a daddy's girl), but I had to start a new school, in a new place, with no friends. And have been bullied and whatnot since. Guidance counselors never helped and I wasn't ever offered therapy until some creep tried to lure me to him. (Great times🙄)

Now onto the story:

I am 21 now, and am expecting my first baby. I was with my mother and grandmother the other day because I was visiting and grabbing some belongings of my dad's that I wanted. We somehow get on the discussion of mental illnesses and my mom admits that she KNEW I needed professional help, yet only allowed me to talk to school guidance counselors. (The one I had in elementary was okay but I didn't feel comfortable around him (idk why he was a great guy), just weird vibes, probably from prior trauma that I don't remember, idk. Anyway, the counselors in my Jr high (middle school) literally only cared about my grades.)

My depression, and anything else I repressed, all eventually pushed me over the edge and I started cutting in my 9th grade year(freshmen). I would do it where people couldn't see so I wouldn't be accused of "attention seeking", and eventually I couldn't hide it anymore. Any time my mom saw the cuts or scars she'd say "WhY dOnT yOu TaLk To Me AbOuT tHiS?!" As if she wouldn't just blow me off. She always somehow said that I was over exaggerating or faking, not praying enough to God, whatever. So idk what fucked up shit she went through, but she wasn't the best mom. Sure she kept us alive but all us kids really don't want anything to do with her anymore, we just keep contact with her due to all our dad's belongings (which she won't give out until she dies and we don't know when tf that will be so) we just do minimal contact rather than no contact.

But yeah idk what else to spout out of my mouth and memories... What do you all think? Does this belong somewhere else or is it fitting enough for entitled parents?