Hey r/EmotionalNeglect family,

I just want to reach out to anyone here who’s ever felt invisible, like you were somehow “too much” and “not enough” all at once. Emotional neglect can make us feel like ghosts in our own lives—overlooked, unheard, and carrying an emptiness that no one else seems to notice. But right here, right now, I want you to know: you’re not alone. You were never meant to be invisible.

Growing up, so many of us learned to make ourselves small to avoid being a burden. We pushed down our needs, numbed our feelings, and became experts at putting on a brave face. But what happens when you spend your whole life shrinking? When you realize that by trying to be “low-maintenance” or “easygoing,” you lost touch with the parts of yourself that were aching for love and validation?

If this resonates with you, know that you’re in the right place.

This is a space for all of us who’ve struggled to believe we’re worth the time and attention, who’ve wrestled with feeling “too much” or “not enough.” And if you’re here, I want to remind you of a few things I think we all need to hear:

1. You Deserved More – Whatever love, care, or validation you missed out on, you deserved it then, and you deserve it now. Emotional neglect can make us feel like our needs were unreasonable or unimportant, but I promise you, they were real, and they mattered. You mattered.

1. You’re Allowed to Take Up Space – For so long, many of us have felt guilty for having needs or for wanting to be seen. But it’s not selfish to ask for connection or to expect to be treated with respect and understanding. Taking up space is your birthright. You belong here, in this world, and in this community.

1. Healing Isn’t Linear, and That’s Okay – Some days, you’ll feel strong and hopeful. Other days, you’ll feel that old familiar ache of being unseen. Healing from emotional neglect is a journey, not a straight line. This community is here for you through all of it—when you’re feeling hopeful and when you’re struggling. You’re allowed to feel whatever comes up.

1. You’re Not Broken—You’re Growing – There’s nothing “wrong” with you because you feel the impact of neglect. That pain is a sign of your strength. You’ve survived so much, and you’re here, doing the work to heal and reclaim your life. That’s something to be proud of.

Let’s Get Real with Each Other

If any of this speaks to you, please feel free to share a bit of your story, or tell us about what you’re struggling with. And if you’re more comfortable just reading along, that’s completely okay too. Just know that you’re part of a community here, one that understands the weight of being overlooked.

For anyone who’s ever been told to “just get over it” or to “move on” without understanding the scars that neglect leaves, let this be a place where you’re finally allowed to feel it all. You don’t have to minimize your pain or downplay your needs here. Your feelings are valid, and you deserve to be seen and heard.

Let’s be here for each other. Drop a comment if you feel like sharing, or just leave a little reaction if you’re with me on this journey. Healing doesn’t mean erasing the past—it means building something beautiful on top of it. And I think, together, we can do just that.