Hi! Totally new to Reddit, superrrr nervous about typing this. I definitely deleted seven times by now.

I’ve been reading a lot and it’s been a huge help in understanding my own neglect thru someone else’s eyes due to similarities and I resonate with so many of you. I feel like now this is the right time (I’ve probably now deleted 100 times lol)

I was in 4 serious relationships between 21-30. Single for about 6 years (few girls I dated for a few months but never felt it was overly serious) then I got with my most recent ex and we were together for 5 years.

Now. None of these relationships have ended because I wanted them to end. I have ALWAYS been the one to be broken up with.

And second: Now. My current partner and I have been together just about a year and it is rocky. We’re both in the beginning stages of healing and understanding. When we have our arguments how we talk about it after is so good, but we BOTH go back to doing the things we talked about. (Maybe we’re both manipulating each other) and basically I’m nearing my ends with the way things are going. I want to believe that there’s light at the end of the tunnel and things work out but I don’t know how much more triggers I can handle with her right now.

Im wondering if anyone else has this type of experience of never breaking up with someone and was able to? How did you do it? I really don’t want to do it over text or during a fight when emotions are high. We both deserve a more respectful conversation. Is my having a hard time breaking up with people due to my emotional neglect? Even if some of those relationships were SO TOXIC? I should have left to be honest, but I never did. I have so many questions and thoughts and wonders and it’s scary.

Thanks for reading!