Hi. If you’re interested in my little story, please read and share with me your advice and your thoughts.

I cannot differentiate what is this happening to me.

I feel that I am so egoistical, self centered and stupid, that I am not able to love anyone, I hate myself, I literally am disgusted by myself, and I don’t love others too. I feel guilty about it. My mother told me that she really loves me, and she really shows her love in her actions. My father left me when I was little. Although I don’t feel sad or hurt about it. But as I remember myself I never respected anyone, most of the time I was emotionless, or hating, or jealous, or obsessed with people. Never have I ever been able to understand what real love is. Is it because of my low consciousness? Or something else?