I grew up in a dysfunctional family. It was very volatile being around mom and dad. And dad was emotionally abusive (sometimes physically) towards me and often mom couldn't protect me from him. And often mom would talk very negatively about dad in my presence while we were alone. I harbor a lot of resentment towards my parents. I hate how their marriage is dysfunctional. I hate how my dad abused me emotionally, sometimes physically. I hate how my mom didn't protect me from my dad. And I hate how my mom poisoned my mind against my father.

In spite of this all, some would argue that I had a privileged upbringing. My dad was in education while he still worked and instilled a great work ethic in me, and my mom fought ruthlessly for me to get access to the best education possible. So while there was a lot of hurt in my childhood, there was a lot of good too although my unresolved pain makes it hard to see the good.

As an adult, while I am fortunate to have both my parents alive still, I want to have a healthier better relationship. But i don't know how to do that. Often when I am interacting with either parent, I am very triggered and a lot of anger and pain bubbles up. Because of this, i engage with them very infrequently - because it is painful and imo unproductive.

Any advice on how to best move forward?