Hi, just found this subreddit.

I believe that no matter how good my life gets I will never let myself be happy. My parents almost never every communicated to me that I did something good. It was all just expected. I am never satisfied with what I achieve and I'm always restless to go and do more.

They were also rarely there for me. Especially emotionally. My gf's almost all broke up out of nowhere and I've never had a real loved one or parent for most of my life. And I feel like I'm broken beyond repair now.

But most people would see me and what I have and think I have nothing to complain about and should be content and happy. Me and my gf have bought a house the size I never dreamed of owning and I have a lot of good friends.

Yet I'm simply never content. I can never be happy for more than a moment. I never really enjoy the moment. I'm restless, thinking I'm wasting time.

And above all, what I fear is that if I have a child. A child of my own, I will still not be able to love him/her.

I hope to talk to people who have the same feelings.