When i was little my dad used to be a violent drunk. He would call us names fling plates at us, beat my mom, and just over all be scary to be around so we'd usually be walking the block around 12-1am just waiting for him to go to sleep so we could sneak back in the house undetected. The other day me and my sister went out to eat with a couple other people and she ordered an alcoholic drink. Everything was okay until i got a waft of it. The smell was so familiar i got that pang of panic and got hypervigilent just watching my sisters behavior, even though i know shes not like dad, to make sure nothing looks off and that she still looks relaxed not mad. Its been years since my dads drunk but it still affects me and i dont like that. I tried "drinking" just to see what the big deal was , i had only taken a shot, but it just tasted so bad and once it kicked in it gave me the burps and i could help but feel like an alcoholic and just feel so nasty with myself. how do i stop it from making me react like i did with my sister and to just stop being anxious and hypervigilant around alcohol and those that drink it?