Years ago I talked to a therapist about this phobia. She asked me to describe my worst case scenario with her. It involved throwing up at a restaurant in front of other people.

Ever since then I often ask myself “am I really afraid of throwing up? Or am I afraid of inconveniencing other people and feeling embarrassed? And causing a mess?”

Today when my phobia spiked I went to my room. My partner was downstairs watching tv. I told him I was anxious and needing space. But I kept asking myself “why does it matter if I’m anxious in this room alone or next to him?” And it kept coming back to not wanting him to have to be inconvenienced or grossed out or have to take care of me in that scenario.

I actually did throw up a few months ago (first time in like 10 years). That night my partner had fallen asleep on the couch watching tv and he was asleep the whole time I was sick. I was very grateful for that.

Just interesting to think about.