i called myself a ' victim ' in the last tmi post but really i'm not . i also did bad things that i knew were bad too and i deserve to be punished for it more than i am . i probably should not post this kinda stuff online but maybe someone else has an answer on how to get over it ? i have no supports and no reason to live honestly except that the only thing my mother wont let me do is die . its not out of love or support - it feels like some weird experiment or game she's obsessed with . i wrapped her car around a tree 2 years ago and ended up only concussed with a broken leg and broken ribs . i tried overdosing on our entire medicine cabinet and she locked everything up after that including anything sharp and started supervising me 24/7 . i'm only allowed my cellphone for 2 hours a day , we share a room and she's sitting a few feet away even as i write this . being alive is excruciating and i just wish someone would either tell me an easy way to kill myself ( without having to physically hurt my mother to do it ) or tell me how to make it stop feeling like this please . i just want it to stop