i know it makes me disgusting ! i feel so pathetic and useless every time i snap out of it but i slip into just bad habits sometimes , like sucking my thumb or putting on kids cartoons or actually playing with my stuffed animals . i zone out for hours and my emotions get so high and i act so stupid . i should just throw out all the stuff that makes me act that way cuz no normal 22 year old sleeps with teddies anyway . not that i can ever be normal . i have to use diapers medically which is bad enough as it is . its just so gross and weird when grownups act like kids , and i hate myself for it so much . seriously i hate myself every day .