Happy holidays, slunts. Listen, I don't think it's weird for you to be curious at all. In fact, I think it's totally natural. If you're the kind of person to make the argument that nobody is completely straight, wouldn't it stand to reason that nobody is completely gay?

To be perfectly honest, I have no interested in exposing you as a fake lesbian; I actually want to be your dirty secret. The same mouth which espouses pro-LGBT talking points by day will be polishing my cock head by night. The same pussy which you said would be reserved for intimate women only will be pumped over and over by my dick. Actions speak louder than words, and your actions speak for themselves. That is what's hot to me. You can moan "I'm a real lesbian," over and over like some dyke Pinocchio as much as you want while you're getting pounded out mercilessly. Sorry, I like it rough. But you're free to go back to your "allies" and art hoe friends after we're done, your breath stinking of cock.

"I'm a real lesbian," you whisper as I naturally inseminate you because you and your partner needed a sperm donor. She asked why you two couldn't just go the artificial route, but you insisted that it was important to do it this way because...reasons. I don't know if this is true, but I once read that lesbians are statistically more likely to get pregnant, proportionally, than straight women these days. Do you think it's true? And if so, why is it true? Are they doing it the natural way? Why are all these so-called lesbians catching dick? Could it be that most of them, deep down, know what they're made for?

I'll keep your secret. Nobody has to know. There's no ill-will meant. I want you to be a happy dyke. But I'm going to get mine. Sure, you could use a strap-on with your girl, but it's just not the same and you know it.

Anyway, the point of all this is more wholesome than you might think at first. I just want you to know that all of this is totally OK. Don't let anyone gate-keep your lesbianism. Gate-keeping is just cock-blocking.