Fantasy is something you desire but can never achieve. Fantasy is fun, exapism and daydreaming. Tasting fantasy can be like being hooked on a drug, the chase making the ecstasy at the end a hellscape, but you keep coming back.

This isn't a kink a man should have, not in the context of this subreddit. I found my way here through trauma and by discovering this kink I was able to gain back a part of my self confidence and sexuality that was shattered and broken. Medicine became the addiction and here I found myself again and again, no longer seeking solace but seeking pleasure.

My tastes developed, new fantasies emerged and so began the decent into disappointment. I will never have a lesbian partner. I will never be able to come home and innocently goon with my gay homegirl, I won't be able to tease some cutie with porn and laugh when we both end up being way too turned on. I know I'm chasing a character that doesn't exist, there is no one around me looking for the same and the affirmation from strangers Onlinehave warped my sensibility.

Yet I always come back here, dick in hand and filth in my mind. I enter that echochamber of the fantasy that holds me and feel my back break and knees falter, weaked by the heft this kink places on me. Voice weak, I ask for more weight.