From my previous posts, I think you can start to see a progression or descent into conversion.

As of my last post I talked about the frequency of checking the sub (which has just gotten worse). In addition to that, I’ve shared some fantasies of mine.

Below serves as a little update as well as helping me get my thoughts on “paper” so to say.

—————— I feel like the more and more I look and rub the further my brain and worries travel away from my body. Just slowly draining, leaving me empty. I’ve exhausted my toys so much that I had to go and by some larger options to feel that stretch again. Is this what it feels like to slowly surrender to myself? To who I really am?

It sounds weird to verbalize but maybe my submission surpasses my want for women, maybe my true desire to to be used. It seems that’s when I’m most content.