i got my second dui a month ago and have been barely had any motivation to do anything. i lost my job and i have court coming up i feel terrible and i feel like my life is over at 25. idk how to have any hope when i know im gonna get treated like an alcoholic in court when i know alcohol just brings out the worst in people and i literally hadn’t drank before than night in more than 2 years without a problem or any want to drink. i know alcohol is not good and i wish i would have learned that before this but i know alcohol will never be in my life again because i have no reason for it. i dont remember anything from the night not any of the stop or hours before that. i would have never consciously got behind the wheel drunk again after my first during covid when i first turned 21. i know better but it scares me constantly that a substance that is completely legal can cause you to do all of that without knowing. i either cant sleep or sleep way too much and barely get anything done. im going to run out of savings soon and probably have to go stress my mom out again by asking her to help. i am sorry for the long rant but i needed to get everything off my chest. i am not belittling the seriousness of driving behind the wheel intoxicated i just know i know better consciously and never would have done that and it kills me cause i live in guilt all the time. i have heard victim stories and would never want that to happen to anyone else i am so grateful i have never gotten in a crash or hurt someone and have only drove drunk one time when i first got in trouble but i knew i would never do it again.. but then here i am… i cant even say how long i have been sober because the only time i have drank i have been basically booked or been in the hospital… idk why i thought i was better and i could do it.. i am not mentally strong enough and i wish i never touxhed it once let alone again… please wish me luck with everything as my license was suspended today and it feels like it hit me all over again