About 5 month’s ago I was charged with a dui. About three weeks ago the plea was taken for reckless driving, with classes, “treatment” and fees. Ever sense my conviction, each day I feel the life being drained out of me. I know others have it worse with their cases, but from working 50 hours a week and doing random UA’s and classes each week for 6 month’s, I have nothing to give back anymore. I come home to my family, and hide and cry. I don’t talk to any of my friends in person, because all of them are living their life without being controlled by the system, and don’t have restrictions on having a glass of wine or waking up at 5 am to discuss the charge that happened 5 monthes ago, each fuckin week.

Everyone’s concerned about me. I used to be happy, slim, bubbly. I am now depressed, fat, and if I smile my face cramps. The only time I am able to enjoy is alone, in my dark bedroom, in front of the tv in bed. That is bliss because I know no one needs anything from me, to complete anything, and doesn’t need another form to be filled out. By the end of this, I will be shocked if I have any life left in me. I am 20 years old, this is my fate.