And to be honest... I have no idea how I feel about it. I got sober a year and a half ago with some slip ups along the way. Around August last year I had a lost weekend where I got a dui. Mental breakdown and everything. Something must've snapped. Before, I was drinking due to boredom and anxiety just like so many of us. Only working 40 hours a week apparently wasn't enough and had the relapse.

Over the course of the next six months, my days consisted of work 8 hours a day, 3 hours of group every other day, and filling in some other time with hobbies. Now, the hobbies lost their luster, I stepped down to a once a week group, and got a new job working 5 10's and an 8 on Saturdays, as well as an 8 on sundays with my old company. I figured working in construction would tire me out but I never seem to shut down. Physically I'm tired as fuck but my mind is straight up wired like I'm wasting my time if I'm not making money. I hate this feeling. It's like a feeling you'd get in wd's. Like a feeling that you wanna physically run away from but you cant since it's all in your head. The only time I dont have this feeling is when I'm on the clock. Or when I'm drunk.

Within the next few days I'll be heading to home depot for new work gloves and will probably ask for a job. I'm hoping to get another 4 hour shift in M-F which puts me right up to bed time each night.

I dont know if this will fix whatever issues I have. Probably won't. I guess as long as it keeps me from drinking then I'll be heading in the right direction.