UPDATE.

64 days sober and the depression from the life I ruined is hurting me. 13 years together with my wife and within 2 months of separating she's already dating. This is takin me to a dark place. I go to 5-6 meetings a week, got a sponsor and started my step work but the feeling of being so easily replaceable is killing me. Sending me thoughts of drinking which I haven't had yet. I'm spiraling and scared where I'm going to end up.

How the fuck am I supposed to regulate all these emotions that I didn't even know I had.

I guess I need to say I'm not thinking that the process I'm taking is a miracle heal all process. It's just all these emotions I haven't felt in years and years are all coming in at once and I don't know how to regulate them. I don't know how to control them or deal with them. Hopefully that's something I will learn in time. I don't blame my wife for anything she was amazing and is an amazing mother to my kids. I just need tips, tricks and ideas on how to deal with new emotions.

Sober is a whole new territory for me