If you’re new to sobriety it is important for you to understand that your head is temporarily fucked. It’s not a big deal, it happens to all of us and it will get better, but you need to be patient.

If your clean streak is plagued by endless false starts, you may feel a little hopeless right now. You might find yourself wondering how anyone can pull this whole sober thing off? You might feel like it’s a constant race to the relapse. That’s a normal feeling. You need to understand that alcoholism has made you into an impatient person.

You do not know what will happen if you continue to abstain past that boundary you never cross. It might feel like there’s a natural sequence of events that play out, where you get a little time and then throw it away. Repeatedly. It might feel like alcoholic behavior is the perfectly shaped hole to put yourself in. It’s because your nervous system is trying to reward your impatience with alcohol.

Once you dry out you need to wait. The waiting for things to improve feels impossible, because you’re hard wired to be impatient.

During the waiting period don’t place any big expectations on yourself. You’re unlikely to make any big strides in your career the first couple weeks clean. That’s okay, the waiting period does not have any objective beyond simply learning patience and abstaining for a little longer.

The first few weeks can feel boring or torturous, but it’s absolutely necessary to endure it. If you ever hope to get yourself clean you will eventually have to deal with this period of boredom and frustration. It’s easier in the long run to do it now.

If you’ve ever gone to the DMV you know how to do this. You dread it, but you leave with a new license and every time your life is better for having gone through with it.