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Schizoaffective Disorder is a Helluva Drug
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So, today the CIA has commanded me to write about my favorite psychedelic: methamphetamine. If my roommate wasn't getting a handjob five feet away from me right now, I might be able to elaborate on why I like the tiny crystals that I do, but I write in a stream of consciousness style and that ish really distracts me and oh good I think he finished. Fucking pussy is on zoloft and he still cums like he's a freshman in high school who just discovered that the family computer can do porn. What a waste! But, that's not what we're talking about today. Yea, today we're talking about some nice ice.

When I'm on amphetamines, I practically only write. Eating, drinking, and pissing all take a back door to the magickal crystals compelling me to shit out my latest thoughts like a bulimia patient taking laxatives. I may or may not have written a book while on this fine substance, which details the time I thought that aliens were training me by getting me to join a cult before spending the next three years homeless while trying to form a cult of my own. That was mostly caused by LSD though, just so you don't think that my schizoaffective is affected by my rampant meth use. It isn't. I'm like this all the time, and there's no getting rid of me.

I don't think I even get high on the clear. Doesn't make me jack off a bajillion times like Benadryl does, at least. I just ride the super good vibes into the hyperzone, where the CIA has full control over my brain functions and makes me write about how I stole my stepmom's thongs when I was thirteen years old and wore them like the bastard I am. Oh boy! I think I'm in the hyperzone right now!

Nah, not really. This is what being schizoaffective is like on the good days. On the bad days, I want to take a rusty circular saw to my annoying genitals, but we don't talk about that. I just wanted to proudly and boisterously proclaim my love for my favorite psychedelic and personal performance enhancing drug, jenkum. Wait...it wasn't jenkum before...oh great the CIA is making me huff my own shit and piss fumes again...oh well, it's worth it. They promise me that I'll find a crazy cat who's into incest role-playing as much as I do if I keep posting like a crackhead, so away I go, posting as much propaganda as I can on my path. Schizoaffective disorder is a helluva drug. 11/10 would do on a school day.

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1 year ago