hi again. i came here about half a year ago to rant about the situation with my little brother and my parents. my little brother has DS but i started suspecting he could also be on the spectrum, but talking about it with my parents was difficult. not many things have changed since then. i pressured my parents to get him to a neurologist and he gave the diagnosis of autism grade 2(idk if that’s how you word it in eng since is not my first language, sorry). and since then… well for me, at least, it all makes much more sense. i feel i can help him better, he’s taking his meds and i see a difference in his behavior, i can explain things to my parents when they get frustrated about my brother. it changed everything, and nothing at the same time. this may seem a bit egotistical but recently i was reflecting about it all. i’m 23 (NB). when my brother was born i was seven, and i feel like i absorbed my parent’s reaction to his first diagnosis. i love my brother, but my parents were and are ashamed of him, and for years i think i was too. it makes me really angry that because i didn’t know better, i didn’t help him more, that now i want to step up for him and it seems like a battle already lost. when my older brother was in hs he had a sort of gf. he invited her over once and after that she broke it off. i remember very, very vividly my mom telling me it had been because of my little brother. she was sad. and i think i also absorbed that, that belief that i will be alone because of my brother’s diagnosis, to the point where even if i now realize how f*caked up that thought is, i’m scared to let anyone in. i’m scared of what they will think of my brother, and how little my family has helped him. i’m just so scared and worried.