i’ve (23NB) always helped my parents (52M 53F) out when it comes to my little brother (16M), who’s got DS. i was seven years old when he was born. i don’t know if because of past trauma or what exactly, but as soon as he was diagnosed and they had to take him to therapy (verbal & physical therapy) i would accompany them and help out at home. and as we kept growing up, i basically became his caretaker and it became obvious (an unspoken expectation) that the responsibility of taking care of him later on would fall on me (i have another older brother who is 26). but as my little brother reached adolescence, things have gotten pretty rough. since he was a baby he would hate going out; it was so difficult to get him to sit at the table at a restaurant, keep him calmed. sometimes it was because of the music, sometimes the people, sometimes we just didn’t know. it became such a problem we came to an arrangement: he would simply not go if he didn’t want to, and would go when he wanted to. still, for some years now he’s became more and more difficult, but the family reunions do not cease. i get worried because i’ve also been investigating about DS and ASD, and i think he shares some signs of the diagnosis. or i don’t know. i just know we could do better but my parents, it seems like since he grew old enough to go to the bathroom alone, eat by himself, etc, that he doesn’t need any more assistance. i know my mom doesn’t accept him and my dad treats him like a baby (as in feeds him, let’s him do whatever he wants, etc) and i just want to help my brother, i want him to keep going to therapy, to get him a proper diagnosis. not just because the responsibility is going to be all mine when my parents are gone, but because i don’t think it’s fair they treat him like he’s either a nuisance or incapable of doing more for himself. but i don’t know how to approach my parents on the subject; my mom gets very emotional and angry every time i mention getting professional help, be it for my brother or herself, and my dad just nods but says there’s no time, no money. i don’t know what to do. i feel so frustrated.