Things have been rough for a while with us but recently they improved slightly. We still have lots of happy moments, although she can be cold towards me a lot. I ask her yesterday if she still loves me. She says yes but she’s not sure she wants to be with me anymore. I cry and say I don’t want to lose her. She says she’s sorry it ended up this way and that she wishes we could have a life together but too much has happened for her to forget about. She keeps saying she’s not definitely gonna leave but she speaks about us as if we’re already done. She’s now taking a few days away from me to think about things but I know she will decide to end it. She’s all I’ve got. I’ve never loved anyone like this and my future without her is no future. I’ve got no friends and even if I did it wouldn’t make a difference. Can’t just pretend she never existed. Everything reminds me of her and the memories hurt so much.

My beautiful girl is going to leave me and I feel dead already.