I'm too full of anxiety and nervousness to function the way I should be as a guy in his early 30s. Never been employed, not in school, and the slightest stress sends my heart rate up and makes me feel sick. I've gotten so afraid and stressed out that I've vomited so hard I lost my voice for a few days.

The few people I have in my life deserve someone who isn't such an angry, sad, useless piece of shit like me but I don't think I'll ever have it in me to get better. I exist in a state of near-constant unhappiness and just drag everyone down to my level with me.

I've never had a girlfriend (of course) and feel like I'm going to die alone, that's probably for the best.