I thought I was a sub, but I recently got an opportunity to dom a friend and I loved it. It was super powerful restraining them and being a little mean- I experienced a real rush being in control of someone so much bigger than I am, but I also had some mean and degrading thoughts about the sub I was in control of. I could see that they really enjoyed it.

I feel like those thoughts are not okay. I’m worried it makes me a bad person or a bad friend to enjoy it and think mean thoughts.

I know the person consented to me being in control but I don’t know what to do with the thought portion. I think maybe this is guilt about being into degrading someone. I feel like my brain can make sense of how it’s okay to do physical actions to someone but not to think of them in ways that aren’t nice?

Like if someone asks you to call them your little slut that’s one thing, but if you start thinking “oh they’re really a slut for me” is that wrong? Hopefully that makes sense!