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If you think you'll play only one of these between turns, choosing the -$1 token is probably the way to go; you'll net more draw out of it. But if you think you'll be playing more than one; you'll choose the -1 Card token first, even though it draws you one card fewer the first time, lest you block yourself out of the second play.
Reviews on Tide Pools have disagreed.
Stated another way:
Pilgrim cantrip and Printing Press cantrip yield the exact same outcome.
But Pilgrim Vassal is clearly superior to Printing Press Vassal.
Both give four upfront, and both take away a card (in different ways). They both net three overall.
How so? You net the same draw overall.
Plus, Pilgrim gives you knowledge of your top card, and (circumstantially) the ability to line up cards for your next turn, both of which are huge in Dominion. Printing Press has neither.
The "2 or more words" is thematic to the card, and was chosen due to its frequency in kingdom cards. (The types-counting thing was, IMO, equally dumb when it was new.)
The "run-on sentence" is not a run-on, but it also loses the conditionality of the affect, which is the entire point.
And the card is meant to be triggerable in your Action phase (like Sheepdog).
Obviously "to" and "the" are words. You're just joking around, right?
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I'm curious how you'd word it.
I want to like the idea, but it will be a dead card in many setups, whereas the card above has self-synergy.