If I include all the details and explanations this post will be way too long...excuse me if it's bonkers or confusing 😅

I'm trying to leave my husband for being a shitty dad. Too bad I'm a disabled SAHM with zero income and nothing to my name and the nearest family I have is like an 8 hour drive away. Also too bad I was so fed up I couldn't keep my mouth shut anymore and told him I was done before I made any progress finding a job.

At least he's finally being safe and kind with the kids now, but holy hell this situation is fucky. He got back together with his ex and moved the ex into our house immediately. He's trying to keep me here indefinitely too, despite knowing how hard I'm working to try to get out. Though at least it means he's nice to me and not financially cutting me off. And to top it off, he was talking about me abandoning the kids here! Talking as if it was obvious and reasonable that I'm leaving alone and how I can "visit sometimes!" I had a fit obviously, and now he has backed down to 50/50 custody, as if he's earned the right to that much. He wants to brush the past under the rug and pretend it didn't happen. How dare he. The way he pretends to care, avoiding explicitly telling me I only feel traumatized because I'm absurdly oversensitive and a crybaby. The way he insinuates the kids aren't traumatized at all, it's just me, so I must be exaggerating--when the kids are too young to conceptualize or communicate trauma!

This is more of an afterthought because it's way less important, but I'm also mildly resentful over him dating and being in love right away while I'm strictly avoiding dating for a while because of the drama going on here. I'm lonely and want love too, but I also don't know what a nightmare the divorce and custody battle will be, and I feel guilty wanting to have somebody to go through it with. It feels unfair.