Can't leave yet. It'll probably take a few months. Husband is determined to change and win me back so I'll stay. I don't trust him to make permanent changes because he doesn't believe he's actually done wrong to the kids--says his parents were way worse to him and it taught him right, that he wants to teach them like his parents taught him so that they won't be spoiled. He told me he's just altering his behavior so I'll stop having trauma responses to the way he parents the kids. So...yes, I want him to change, but no! I don't want him to win me back over! But he's fully capable of wearing me down, given how long it'll take me to make progress leaving.

So, suggestions for what to read, watch, or listen to so I don't get swept up again? I've already read Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft (which I highly recommend, it's excellent!) and a friend sent me The Gift of Fear.

I can't really buy any books; I just got free downloads of those. I tried looking for more ebooks but didn't find any available for free.