Just a few days ago I was preparing because I thought "if he's ready to kill himself, what if he takes us all down with him?"

And then we were hanging out, laughing together, trying to still be good friends and coparents and roommates, playing with our children together like a happy family.

He's really testing my determination to leave. Once the kids are in bed he starts serious conversations about how he can improve and whether or not I "really" need to move out. Before, he'd forced me under threat of suicide to pick a date at which we could review his progress and then decide if I'd leave. But I wasn't asking permission when I said I wanted to go. I'd already decided. I've already been done. I'd already learned the hard way that he wouldn't commit to treating the kids better, not long-term. He'd fix his behavior for long enough to keep me here, and then his progress would slip away. How on earth can he keep demanding more chances, telling me I've betrayed him for throwing away our marriage without "giving him a fighting chance"?

I've avoided the question "is there any chance you're actually gonna consider staying?" The current question he is demanding I answer: "What do you want from future relationships that you couldn't have right here with me, after I've fixed my issues?"

What am I supposed to say???