I need advice, I am scared.

I have recently ended a relationship with a man I have been seeing for a little over a year and things have taken a turn for the worst.

About 3 weeks ago I decided to end things for good. There wasn’t a final straw that broke the camels back, rather a build up of a number of things. He is controlling, he insults me, and word was going around about other women. I just wanted out.

In the past three weeks I have blocked him from contacting me through all platforms phone and social media. Even though I have blocked him I still receive the voicemails that he has been leaving, there are 33. Some of them are threatening, some are claiming he’s in trouble and needs me, others are calm and just wanting to talk. Others are of him telling me that he’s going to beat me beyond recognition.

He has been showing up to my job trying to find me. He has been showing up to my house. My security cameras have caught him 6 times at my house. He left his car in front of my garage so I couldn’t leave for an entire day. Then next time he showed up he sat outside in his car for 4 hours just waiting for me to leave.

The day before Father’s Day I decided to call him. I told him that this is the last conversation we would ever have. He was begging and pleading for it not to be. Then would accuse me of being with another man. The conversation ran in circles of him trying to see me, threatening to hurt me, and him threatening to ruin my life. This phone call was a mistake, I should have never called him. I thought trying to reason with him he would understand and leave me alone. I was wrong.

This week, things have absolutely escalated, he had been contacting people at my job that he knows. Showing up daily looking for me. And then he showed up at my parents house. I have never introduced my parents to him. I don’t know how he knew where they lived. He told them everything that he knew about me. All my secrets that he knew, lies he made up. He approached them with a “concerned” demeanor but he was there to ruin me. He succeed. My mother had cut contact with me. My dad is upset with me but sent a text saying that he still loves me and we will work through this.

I flew into a rage after finding out he went to my parents house and called him 3 times. He didn’t answer, I texted him one and said “answer the phone.” No response, he got a rise out of me that he wanted. I collected myself and calmed down.

For about 2 days I didn’t hear anything. No voicemails, no word from any one. But at 5 am in the morning he showed up to my job looking for me. At 5:15 I checked my house cameras and he was at my door dressed in all black, covering his face from the camera. He attempted to open the door and then left.

That was it. I went and filed a protective order. I know, I should have done it earlier but I was hoping that he would eventually stop plus I was in fear that the protective order will make him even more angry, escalate things, and make him sneakier.

I was granted an emergency protective order. I had to meet with police to get him served. The police went to serve him the order and went to the wrong house. 10 minutes later I got a voicemail of him saying that he knew they were there for him. They went back and found the correct house. He was served the protective order Saturday morning at 1:05 am. The police met back with me and gave me the paper work I needed. They pulled away and there was a voicemail from him at 1:19 am. He stated that he was just served and I was going to be sorry. I immediately called the police to report the violation. They told me they can’t do anything because in the system hadn’t been updated it was served yet.

I desperately begged the dispatch to have the officers that served the paper work to him get ahold of me. During this time my ex was calling my phone from a blocked number, I had to answer every call hoping it was the police on the other end since they too called me from a blocked number. I was recording the calls that came in. He called over 75 times. Some of them he was threatening to kill me, others he was spewing lies, sometimes he was talking to someone he was with telling them not to go after me. He kept saying he loved and cared about me. On one of the calls he said told me to not show up to court and he will stop. I never said a word to him on any of these calls just let him talk.

Finally the police went back to his place and arrested him for violating the protective order. It took them 4 hours to arrest him. He didn’t stop calling until he was placed under arrest. In my state (I am scared to say where) there is an automatic 72 hour hold for violating a protective order and then he will be released. I am so scared. I feel like me getting the protective order will make him sneakier and it’s obviously already made him angrier.

I haven’t been able to go to work, sleep at home, my family wants nothing to do with me. He attempts to isolate me have worked. I don’t know who he has watching me. I don’t want him to know that I’m scared, any upper hand I give him gives him power. But I am terrified, I feel alone, scared, and helpless.

Please- any advice on what to do would be helpful.