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Micromanaging
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I'm so tired of being choked and called all types of bitches. Tired of being micro managed for cleaning up. He's a Muslim so he said cleanliness is next to godliness. I had one pan in the sink. 1. I agree it could've easily been put in the dishwasher. I've had paper, water bottles, and febreeze cans thrown at me in the span of 2 days. I'm honestly tired. We agreed today to just co exist until I can move out. Then it was he thinks of me as a queen and he's mad that I don't see myself that way because the first job I want to get is as a waitress since I don't have a job rn. Im 24 in a new state I would hope that me getting a job at an high end restaurant is a good start before I find a nice corporate job. I feel so stupid. I was happy to have a man who paid the bills, my car note, and just wanted me to take care of home. My plan was never to stay at home but I lost my documents when I first got here. So I had to wait for all of them. Just got interviews lined up and of course we fought that day so I missed them. I'm a pretty clean person, I love being in the bed because that's my comfort place. I love sleep. But I don't think I can live with a man like this. One who cannot simply have a conversation without showing major disrespect at me. I don't think this is what any woman deserves.

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Thank you so much first of all. I’m terribly sorry you relate to my struggle but happy you could give me advice. The plan is for us to seperate and I just move out soon. Idk how soon but I’m sure I will just end up doing it on my own in a few weeks. I will most definitely dm you if I need any help and talks thank you so much doll

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I completely understand you too. If I had the balls I’d do it. I just don’t. The people I’ve met along the way through him all see it, the abuse. I just don’t have the energy to let it all fall on me and calling the cops on him. I wanna walk away but there’s no justice in that. I hate it but the path I’m going is the path I failed before which is leaving and staying gone and facing the trauma head on. I pray I have the strength to never look back

Also tired of being grabbed and shook and thrown I always have scratches on my skin and bruises everywhere I’m not the lightest girl fairly brown skinned but it shows on my lightest body parts. Arms, face, neck. I’m so embarrassed to go back to my family and explain my brokenness once again it’s so shameful. I won’t miss this at all

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Yes that’s the plan I can sense lots of silent treatments and us both being gone a lot. I’m usually the one to forfeit the break up but I cannot. I’ve done so much research when we broke up the first time. I knew it only escalates and gets worse when you move in. I moved in anyway! Shame is such a huge thing tho I’m so embarrassed to leave and tell my parents. I know they won’t react well and I know I’ll have to go back to my home state and carry this shame. I wanted everyone to be wrong. I should’ve trusted the research. After having paper thrown in my face and water bottles, I knew I wasn’t dealing with a real man. It’s time to let go.

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6 months ago