Hey Reddit Family! I ask that you guys approach my post with kindness as I’m feeling very frustrated, sad, and helpless. I have 2 dogs 11M and 6F. Both are adopted. The 11 year old male gives me no problems at all and has been my pet for the last 9 years. He is friendly with other dogs and people and has no signs of aggression. He loves long walks, car rides, the park and going to the backyard. My 6 year old female is giving me a lot of problems. I adopted her 1 year ago. This is where I’m begging for you guys not to tear me apart in the comments please. I adopted her from pet finder. Her owners dropped her off shortly and I’ve had her since. She spent the first month hiding under our beds, growling at us, refusing to let us pet her or take her outside or eat from our hands. We gave her space and let her come to us and let her use our backyard for her bathroom needs until we can figure how to get a leash on her without losing our fingers. Over time she would slowly come up to me and we developed a loving bond. She has become very attached to me and my other pet. She allows me to pet her, play with her, listens to my commands, learned new commands and etc. I am grateful that she is still vaccinated since I’ve adopted her although she needs to be updated on 2 of them (not rabies) soon. It’s been a year and there are several things I have not been able to get her to do: 1. I still cannot get a leash on her. She has a collar and harness. She will absolutely bite me if I attempt to put either on. I recently got one of those leashes that can loop around an aggressive dog’s neck but I’m still too frightened to try it. This means… in the year I’ve had her: I’ve only successfully had less than 10 walks, 0 vet visits (couldn’t get her in the building), 0 grooming visits (groomers rejected her. Washing her myself now). 2. I finally am able to wipe her hind paws and one front paw (and not the other…) with paw wipes. From the beginning I could not even poke her foot. She would bite. So wiping 3 paws out of 4 is a HUGE step for me. Despite being able to wipe them I can’t cut her nails. 3. I am finally able to wash her without a muzzle. Getting a muzzle on her is a disaster to begin with. But I’m unable to groom her AT ALL. Her fur is now soooooo long that I’m embarrassed. Leaves, snow, poop, mud and etc. constantly get stuck and pulling them out becomes a dangerous game of trying not to get bitten. Don’t get me started about her nails. I’m looking into sedative grooming with a vet as she’s been turned down by local groomers.

My post is more so for encouragement. She’s not my first dog. I’ve been with dogs since I was in diapers. I love her. I refuse to give her up. She’s shown improvement since ive gotten her. She went from ignoring and growling at my other dog to cuddling him and sharing her toys. All of the groomers who’ve attempted to groom her all tell me she exhibits signs of a history of abuse (crouching down when someone tries to pet her, tail tucked, very afraid of men, touching certain areas of her body triggers her, etc.). Any words of encouragement, advice or personal experience would be much appreciated.

TLDR: I adopted a dog who’s aggressive and I’m at my wits end.