My old man is nearly 11. I rescued him as a puppy so he’s had a very long, lush and spoiled life.

Monday we went to the vet because I felt like he was telling me he’s ready to go and the vet confirmed that maybe we had a month or so with treatments, but his quality of life is as best as it’ll be.

My partner and I decided his last day will be Thursday because we’re both off, can WFH Friday and then have the weekend off.

I want to be selfish and cancel the appointment. He’s currently laying on my stomach because he knows I am not feeling well.

I’ve never not had a dog since I was born. We usually had a small pack of 3-5 because we were foster failures. lol But at our rental we’re only allowed one and only if they’re a service animal or emotional support animal.

My thoughts are everywhere. I feel extremely guilty that I applied for a service dog at two different places even knowing it can take up to two years for the right match and such.

I feel guilty I’m ending his life. What if I’m picking the wrong time?

I feel guilty I want to cancel his appointment.

He loves Christmas so I started decorating for him. The tree will be up tonight. He’s getting lobster tomorrow and the vet gives pups a tiny Hershey Kiss before they pass.

What else should I be doing for him? I think he knows because he hasn’t left my side since Monday.

Does anyone have any links to memorial items they bought and enjoy?