My dog is about 6-7 years old, rescued, and was super sick when I did rescue him. Just got over parvo, then had demadex, had surgery on his back leg for luxating patella, had pancreatitis and has suffered anaphylactic shock

Because of all this crazy, I am paranoid over his health. Tonight I was petting him, and I felt a swelling, or a bump, or something, on the right side of his chest. I can't exactly squeeze it or anything, like a tumor, but you never know, and I can't get him to the vet till at least Saturday. I also felt his rib cage and felt something sticking out. Probably bone.

either way, I just started crying, trying to prepare myself for the worst, planning what I'd do if he had cancer or something awful, and I can't stop crying.

Losing him will be absolutely earth shattering to me, and I don't see myself ever recovering.

I thought this could all be heightened because I just started working at a Vet clinic, and I recently had to help put a dog down, first time. It was horrible, cried all day.

But I do this a lot. I find something small, and cry. Or just cry. I can't stop thinking about his last day, what I'll do, why it'll be his last day, anything.

anyone else do this?

sorry for late night weird post, can't sleep.