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The Tale of Crusader Beard
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Welcome one and all to the tale of the most cringe of DnD Horror Stories. Not only in a normal DnD Group but a Westmarch at that. The Cast today is

Crusader Beard or CB

I run one of the largest westmarch DnD games on discord, an endless tale that allows DMs to explore whatever stories they wish to in an endless multiverse.

It has been running for about a year before CB joined, we had our fair share of weirdos but this one obviously stood out. He came to me one sunday evening and asked about the lore of my world. I LOVE explaining my lore to intergrate their characters into. So I explained everything he wanted to know and he decided to make a character apart of a Family that is of a Cadet Branch of the Royal Crusader Family of Cor Auream. He made me such a lovely back story and asked to fight to become the Champion of Solana, goddess of light.

Queue forward a few sessions and a dying paladin granted him the power of an Angel Blade (suppose to be apart of his backstory) and he gracefully accepted and charged upwards with his allies to finish the quest. However from here on out he started to go downhill.

Whenever someone would attempt to make RP with him he would say "I have the angel blade 'Angel of Equity'" almost like an NPC you pressed A on. Whenever I would wake up in the morning I would see messages of "So when do i become champion?" to which I reply "You, you're level 5 so not anytime soon"

CB kept going on about how his family helped out in a crusade and how he was chosen by the gods and people just started getting frustrated"I am the wielder of the Holy Sword" was his go to line. Just randomly in combatDM: You see people chained up being tortured by demonsCB: I have the Holy Sword let me hit them!

DM: Theres a small goblin CB: I WILL SMITE IT

He just never gave up

Eventually we had our first player leave because of him and we needed to talk to him. He kept saying he understood his faults and we let him off with a slap on the wrist

Anyways our server is very inclusive so I myself am Pansexual and lots of other on the server are queer or trans. and well we HATE Bigots. Anyways I guess during a RP session CB kept calling a trans woman 'He' I confronted them and they told me it was an accident. As well within our group discussions we usually would go on rants about how cute our gay relationships were and he just sat there silent. It was very odd, almost like he was a slowly broiling Trumpite awaiting to strike us when he reached his full potential.

One red flag was during our session where we were trying to help Dark Elves who were being oppressed by an evil crusade. I said that the common people here have alienated the dark elves, blaming them for crimes, murderers, and kidnappings.

CB did not seem to understand right away that this is racism. I had to explain it to him in detail and he just said "Yeah ok, whatever"

Once CB started getting use to the server he decided that he was above the DM as well, once he learned more of his character and decided he was much more powerful than most of these fickle gods. He started doing the greatest heresy of all....

BACKSEAT DMING

every session: someone will say they're doing something. CB: "go ahead"

Player: "I asked the DM"

CB: "Yeah ok"

god i hated him saying that. It was repetitive and insulting to the DM

My least favourite was one session where we were fighting while blinded and he kept yelling " I have blindsight" at the top of his lungs. Every single time he was going to attack. Hell any time he had a triggered ability he would yell "I HAVE A TRIGGER" and interrupt everyone in the area.

This on top of how slow his turns went. He was like a crusading snail that had a speaker strapped to him.

Eventually we began to talk with him more and more and all of us Admins were completely done with him. Players were leaving, DMs were fed up. What can we do?

Well the worst was yet to come. During a game we were saying how strong everyone was in character. CB decided to macho us up and stated "I am 6ft 6 and could beat anyone up" this was rude and we shook it off but his macho attempt to make us 'scared' was ill used.

However at the final quest of his career

We were questing through an old city we sieged to the ground, trying to scout it out. We have one player who is underaged, sorta like our Server Step Child, we put up with him and taught him the ways to become a good DM (I am proud of him). He was roleplaying with CB and told his character to "Have a drink and loosen up a bit"

This triggered CB and he unloaded on the poor child. Calling him every name in the book. Causing him to cry and have an anxiety attack. Well one of the Admins was in the Game and instabanned him.

We convened and assessed the damage and decided to check out his twitch and twitter as none of us checked it out even though he loved to remind us about them.

The man turned out to be a complete Alt Right Trumper. Anti- queer, anti- trans. Anti-everything we stood for. I am amazed he lasted so long in our queer DnD Haven. My gods.

More stories of him will come but this is the main storyline. Thank you

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2 years ago