I just clocked out of work. For the rest of the evening I'm going to be job hunting, then I'm going to brainstorm ideas to try to watch some businesses that I can run out of my home completely independently. I want to get this all done before I start school next semester. I have a great job. A single person with no children would do fine on this salary. I'm afraid I won't. I'm afraid it's just not going to be enough money to pay for the help I am going to need in the future. I don't take time off from work, I don't go on vacations. I won't go out to eat unless I'm with friends.

I'm disabled. I'm very disabled and my body is going to continue to break down as I get older. That is why I'm terrified of getting older. I'm going from my youth to my old age with a broken body already. I'm transitioning to a phase of my life in which my body will degrade even more.

So I'm scared. It's hard enough to do things already.