I have ehlers danlos syndrome, fibromyalgia and arthritis. (all which cause a plethora of other symptoms) I have been diagnosed for 9 years and FINALLY have it managed most of the time from a combination of muscle relaxers, nerve blockers, cbd, spine injections and topical pain creams.

Because it is well managed on the outside. I seem like a physically well person most of the time, aside from when i have to use a cane. However, during the cold months and when things get too intense with life, my physical body starts to do its nasty thing and I have severe problems.... including pinch nerves in my spine, inability to walk, dislocated joints, severe pain, and many other symptoms from a combination of everything going on. Due to having multiple physical disabilities it is unpredictable when I will be OK and when I will be incapacitated...

Sooo I have been in a relationship with a lovely human for almost 5 years. And in The beginning they used to try and be understanding and tried to help me a lot even tho they still occasionally say ableist things... i dismissed it because their actions were not of an ableist person. But over the years because I've managed to maintain being okay i am wondering if they have forgotten how bad this actually is? They have started to be less empathetic and compassionate about me and the world (they are going through some stuff) and are starting therapy next week but I need to address something they did today that seems to be a new habit of theirs that has been going on a while now. We are trying a new thing about communicating but I am SO UPSET that I genuinely don't know what to say and be constructive and productive. Unfortunately for the past 6 months, my disabilities have been getting worse because I've been dealing with a lot of emotional traumatic stuff. So trying to manage both mental and physical right now is nearly imppssible. Recently my physical disabilities have been getting a little out of hand... and the last few days I've been having difficulty walking again, my spine has 3 pinched nerves and i can barely keep my eyes open due to my migraine. A HUGE THING- I haven't been able to do my chores. And the mess in our home is bigger than I would like it to be. I was trying to communicate with my partner about how I was having difficulty getting out of bed this morning because of my pain... And they completely ignored me, and turned around and told me about how their headache from yesterday is still bothering them...

Mind you him and I just had a conversation the other day about how it upsets him when I try to relate to his feelings or what he is saying by doing this exact thing. (We are both autistic and sometimes have difficulty communicating with each other. But I want to make sure that I let him know that He did exactly what he asked me not to do Is in a kind and constructive way.) He also then continued on and said that the messy house was bringing him down and proceeded to say things that seemed like he was trying to make me feel guilty about not doing my chores. I don't think that he consciously tries to make me feel bad. But in this instance, he very much did make me feel bad. And I want to communicate to him that this is not okay. But I want to make sure that I don't hurt his feelings in the process. Because I don't think he's doing it maliciously or trying to harm me in any way. But it definitely is something that needs to change. Unfortunately, he has been like this for a little while. And I haven't said anything or communicated because we've been having difficulties in other ways. So I didn't want to pile on or make things worse. But we are doing a thing now where we are learning to communicate better so I want to make sure that I communicate with him about this without hurting his feelings in the process.