Dear Santa

I think I've been a good boy this year. Too good. For Christmas, I would really like the opportunity to be bad for once. Let me explain...

You see Santa, I'm not really all that happy at home. Sure my life looks great: I have the marriage and the home and all that. But it's a bit of a facade to be honest. Underneath, I'm a red-blooded man with a passionate heart and certain...needs, which mostly get ignored. Maybe as a single man that everybody thinks of as asexual you'll understand, I don't know. Erm...OK sorry that wasn't where I was going with this, but if you want to talk about it I'm here bro.

Ahem...anyway where was I? Oh yes, Christmas. OK....what I would really love is for a special lady to come into my life, and for us to have a genuine, no-holds-barred affair. A real life one, not one of these online-only things. Somebody who is in the same boat as me maybe, so I can make her feel all the things that I want to feel too. A companion and a lover. Yes, I know this might make me bad and that I won't get any presents next year, but that's a price I am willing to pay.

My ideal person is somebody who's intelligent, engaging, and on my wavelength please. You know what I'm like: active, foodie, curious about the world, creative, and sometimes a bit naughty? Something like that. It'd be great if they were physically attractive too, and not overweight. OK, I know how that sounds. I'm not Brad Pitt or anything, but I'm probably a 7 or 8, right? So about that level would be peachy. thanks. Oh, and they need to live nearish to me (South West England), because I don't have a magic sleigh like you do, and I'd like to be able to meet them when the time is right.

Do you think you can do this for me, Santa? Sure, I know it's a lot to ask, but if you can see to it that this person finds their way to my inbox, I promise that I'll put the effort in.

Thanks in advance, and Merry Christmas xx