Let's face it, the toughest part of Rona hasn't been the career stagnation or the scary mortality rates, it's the fact you haven't gotten laid in some time. Or rather, no one has touched you even...

I'm not suggesting you always had hookups, but the option was always there at least. It's not really fair. These are your wild years, and two of them were robbed of you. Can you even get them back being this out of practice?

I reckon you feel frustrated. Waking up each day and going to bed like this; yearning. Do you take your anger out on the people around you? When you know it's not their fault but you can't help it. Or do you just see yourself starring into space with a sudden lewd flash before your eyes only to find your own hands wandering across your body? You are kinda losing control, huh?

You have need. I bet you're not even sure how to get hit on these days, you'll just stumble over your words or something. You'd come across as cold as dismissive despite the fact you really want it, bad. One can almost see you stomping your foot and biting your lip as the flirty guy moves on, thinking you just rejected him.

Tell me something... Has that older neighbour who's always been a creep become very appealing? I bet you like the idea of just giving him this one...

Or maybe that thirsty guy in your dms from a few years ago is suddenly been burning a hole in your pocket?

This isn't you! The whole world is a clenched fist against you right now, and you just cant deal with it. You know i'm right.

Besides, Tinder is a bit much innit? That whole swipe right thing and play out the game, I don't care what people say, it's exhausting! Even if it's a short hook-up.

It's overdue, and you need dick. To get satisfied. You need that glow back. I'm not wrong, am i? Go on, deny it. I want you to get pissed off and tell me how all this isn't true. Or are your fingers shaking ready to admit to it all. Everything i said was true.

Admit it, you were just about to drop a line to that guy who in primary school was a dork but has become a total ugly duckling. You're gonna fuck him aren't you?
Stop.

That's all I got to say.
Stop.

What you need is someone who knows what you're doing and knows just what you need.

Now sit down, shut the fuck up for once and drop a line.