For the last 3 years, I’ve hidden my edging/gooning addiction from my gf. She’s never liked porn but, I haven’t learned to live without porn/hentai since dating her. Like most people, I started watching porn in my youth. My addiction only became apparent when I discovered certain hypnosis videos. Now I can’t stop watching…
I often have thoughts about being forced to edge myself and becoming a woman’s plaything. These thoughts don’t go away and I would rather embrace them than fight. I want to be trained by a feminine superior; someone who will tell me when to edge, how to pose/dress for nudes and also when to cum. Anal training is also on the table (I have a few toys). Think of me as your personal porn-star. I have a slim build and, I’m a young healthy stud.
When I am alone, I edge myself for long periods without cumming; even holding it in for days at a time. If I actually try to stay away from porn and I’m alone at home, I have to always pretend I don’t want to jerk off.
I have no means to kick this habit for good. There are too many triggers around me to deny my desires. I cannot talk about it with anyone irl. I feel like it’s pointless trying to fight it off. So many lewd thoughts enter my mind and I cannot share them with anyone.
I have to stop torturing myself with denial and guilt and let a womanly figure take control of my urges for her pleasure. I want to give control to someone who wants me needy and horny for them. I want my habit to be nurtured. My only limit is extreme self-harm. I am very open minded. Thank you for reading!
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