I've very fixated on cock but also very sexually uncomfortable around men. I can't bring myself to meet up with anyone because I'm dreading the awkward small talk that might proceed sex. (I'm also currently taken, we've talked about this in the past, but there would need to be another conversation first, and some safe sex talks, and such, so I'm not quite ready to jump into this just yet, just putting that out there).

In my head, once I've found the right person to do this with and all concerns are taken care of, maybe we could come up with a scenario where we could not talk (unless absolutely necessary). Maybe you could be waiting for me in a hotel room and I'll come in and give you a handjob and you're encouraged to cum on me (why not start small/easy for my first time, right?). Next time I could give you a blowjob. I'm so, so curious what it's going to feel like to have your cock throbbing and ejaculating in my mouth. Maybe the time after that I'll be the one waiting in the hotel room for you, face down, and lubed ass up for your cock. I'd want you to slowly go all the way in and the pause each time you're there. I love balls and I want to feel them pressed up against me when you're all the way in. I'm fairly sure I can cum by bottoming, I have a very sensitive prostate.

Honestly, my ideal person would be someone who can relate to the shyness/awkwardness and is like "OK, finally! Someone who doesn't want to talk!" Also someone who is ok with almost exclusively being a top. Again, my fixation is on cocks, so I'm looking for someone who wants to center things around theirs. I most like cocks that are a little on the smaller side and uncircumcized, but all are welcome to reach out. You don't have to last long, I'm looking for relatively short experiences that end with you exploding in my hands, mouth, or ass. Also into the idea of frotting as well, would love if you drenched my cock with your cum.