I know. What is that title - I've had this ad up before in other places with some success, so I wanted to adopt it while trying to find something more like what I'm looking for.

• Height of model – 6ft. A little more bulky than it should be, but it’s been working to lose unnecessary weight off the frame.

• Model is a ginger – all usual coloring, including freckles, does apply. Yes, the carpet matches the drapes, or it would if there was any carpet.

• Model is highly educated in a useless area of the arts.

• Model’s special talents include cooking¹, wine snobbery, witty banter, and the use of the oxford comma.

• Model is a caretaker of two feline assholes²

• The balls on said model have been snipped, so said model is “shooting blanks”, as they say.

• Model is ridiculously flirty and dirty, so please consider this when contacting the model for leasing opportunities.

1) Food porn can be requested, but does not guarantee said food porn will be sent.

2) Cat porn can be requested, but does not guarantee said cat porn will be sent.

As you can tell, I’m clearly a very serious person, looking for other very serious people to do super serious things with. If you are ACTUALLY super serious and find the above nonsense annoying, then we maybe shouldn’t be chatting. I spend too much damn time being serious to do it with people on reddit of all places.

Also, I use the word “model”. I….am not. Unit just uh…well you can understand why I didn’t use unit. We can approach the topic of my unit later of course, but…oh you get it. Or you don’t. Maybe if you don’t we shouldn’t chat either?

Anyway! If I made you laugh, shoot me a message. What’s the worst that happens? We chat and have polite but not too deep conversation for a day or two without either of us giving out enough info to truly get into a deep connection, so we slowly stop talking and act like it never happened? Psh. Could be worse.

Not like I bite. I mean I do, but only when asked.

So what am I looking for? Someone who is a switch, maybe leaning domme, who wants to form a friendship that gets kinky and has very open lines of communication about wishes and needs and desires. What do YOU want? When can you talk? How much do you expect from me, from this, etc. I'm not too serious about anything (clearly) but I also understand the need for some sort of foundation to build any sort of "relationship" (for lack of a better word) off of.

Overall my kinks are nothing crazy - light BDSM and all that comes with it, edging, tease and denial, ruined orgasms, toys are great, I have some I can play with a show, and some you can help me play with as well. Please ask for details, I'll gladly provide. Do I want to boss you around some? Sure. I'd like to take charge too. Tease. Make my blood boil. Make me need to hide my phone screen. Be forward. Surprise me. Make me smirk and raise my eyebrows when I read what you've sent.

I hate diving deep into these posts because it's so much more fun to talk and explore and see what works and doesn't. Shoot me a message. I pride myself in knowing what the word "no" means, and if you tell me we're not going to work out, so be it. I have and will do the same if I feel it's coming to that. What's the worst that happens, we waste each other's time for half a day? I feel like there a bigger problems floating around for all of us to worry about.