Okay, so I'm trying to write up the ultimate R4R post that will encompass everything about myself, my situation, and what I'm hoping to find. I'm sure many people will read this with judgmental eyes, but I got to do what I got to do.

First off, a little about myself... I am 36 years old, 6'1 tall and around 240. I am easily described as a "Daddy" or "Dad Bod" type which is a nice what of saying I'm chubby. I am pretty attractive with a good face, salt/pepper beard, short hair, and an aura of intelligence and confidence. I am very intelligent, educated, currently in Grad School in Northern New Jersey and living in New York. I had been living in Los Angeles the last decade but recently moved back to the east coast due to a death in the family. I am also married and have been in my relationship for 16 years now.

This is where the plot thickens as they say... See, when I was a young gothy nerd in the early 2000s, I was considered a loser by most of the other kids. I became isolated, I had zero confidence in myself, and felt like a freak. I met my wife in college and she was of a very similar personality. We bonded, became best friends, fell in love, and got married. We moved to LA so I could have a career, and things were going well. However, as we got older, I began to shed my trauma. I became more comfortable and confident in myself, I had many friends and coworkers and I learned to accept myself and what my desires in life were... My wife on the other hand has only gotten worse. She continues to be depressed and withdrawn no matter how much love and support I can give her. And while I will always love her, I'm starting to go a little crazy.

I find myself constantly thinking about women, just having some kind of experience away from all the baggage and depressing attitude my wife always seem to have. I just want to have some fun and enjoy life, I want to feel good about myself and explore my sexual desires without the drama. After having worked at a college and now attending a new college, I find myself way more comfortable about younger women and often drift off into kinky thoughts about how much I'd rather be fucking them and having fun, then being with my wife who would make feel bad for asking if I can go down on her.

Needless to say, this is what happens when two people in a relationship grow as different people. I don't want to leave her, I want to help her, but I'm also starting to lose it myself a little bit. So here I am on Reddit, hoping to find a woman who maybe is in the same boat as me in their own relationship, or is intrigued by my story enough to start some kind of secret relationship or affair.

It would be hard to host for obvious reasons but I also travel so much for school that I'm sure I could work something out. I really have a lot of different kinks that I've never been able to really experience and that drives me nuts. I am open to meeting all kinds of women, no preferences as to age/race. I do have a soft spot for nerdy/goth/punk/emo/scene girls, I love glasses and short hair, tattoos, and honestly chubby/bbw girls really do turn me on, also non white girls go to top of the list! I am STD free, covid neg and Vaccd, I do smoke but I'm going to try quitting very soon, and 420 friendly with a semi-steady supply.

I would to chat online and make plans to meet if we are compatible. Open to an online relationship but really look to meet at some point, I can be very patient tho so don't expect me to try to pressure you into meeting right away, not looking for something quick, I want something sustainable. Thanks for reading my rant/post, good luck to everyone in finding who they are looking for!