Ok folks , well my therapist advised me that sharing my experience with nair and my ball sack is part of the healing process , and I only do so , so that no other ballsack has to endure what mine, through my own stupidity , has had to endure.

Once upon a time I had a hot date , and in preparation for this hot date I decided to do some upkeep and manscaping , because I knew I was getting some play that day. Like 100% for sure -but anywho ...

Soooooo, I go into my bathroom and start trimming and grooming this thing and that . now mind you I may have been under the influence of some mind altering substance or substances , I do not clearly recall .

what I do recall is while in the midst of my preparations I see my hairy balls and decide they need too be cleanly shaven and while trying to decipher how to go about that process I look up and see a bottle of nair lotion, that has been placed there by some evil genius , no doubt .

(Side note that that evil genius was probably was a disgruntled woman.)

Now I'm thinking "its perfect!!" Easily removes the issue (nut hair ) at hand. ( or at balls I guess) . "How convient and handy of solution! Lucky me ! " I'm thinking in my simpleton , ape like ,man brain .

So i gleefully skipped along and farted rainbows and merrily carried on in my complete ignorance of what was to come .

Now I am a man , so I'm not going to let any DIRECTIONS tell me what to do , so FIRST THING I disregard those completely .

it's just lotion , what could lotion do to a MAN anyways? Arnt no lotions gonna hurt a big strong man like me ! I scoff at the idea of lotion hurting a man , "I'm the top of the food chain! " I tell myself as I lather a thick layer of the devil's lotion all over my balls and then it's the calm before the storm....

Mind you I have Adult ADHD ,and a symptom of that is I find it hard for things to hold my attention very long (outside of tits and pussy's) so in the however many mins I was too wait , I get side twacked and am now butt ass naked tinkering and piddling w this thing or that leaving little piles of junk behind me as I skip along , completely forgetting about the nair on my balls ..... After all I'm the top of the food chain , arnt no lotion gonna hurt me!

Well , let me tell ya , that was true .....strong man....arnt lotion hurting me....and then I knelt down, still tinkering and finger fucking shit, for a still to this day unknown objective .

When I did..... , I swear to you, that when I did kneel down I get this confused look on my face as I take a loud sniff , and then another ......it takes a second for my brain to register this curious , and previously unknown smell . idk how to describe it , but like acid burnt hair , AGONY and Shame.

As soon as that smell hit my nose and I realized it twer, in fact , the scent of my chemically burning ballsack,caused from the lotion that twernt gonna hurt no tough man like me , as soon as that smell registered in my brain ,at that very instant my ballsack , and all at once , felt as though they where tanning in a open fire , while resting on redhot coals , w a Tabasco sauce sunscreen on , this shit was not a fucking joke. This is my testimony!

So, startled as all hell , I spring to my feet , and I know there was no flame on my nuts but my natural reaction was to start smacking myself in the balls, in a feable attempt to put out the fire on my nuts , that doesn't exist . I continued to do so the entire journey to my shower .

Now along the way , and all the while, I'm hopping around ,smacking myself in the ballsack AND I'm tripping and stumbling on the piles of adult ADHD shit I just strung out all over the damn floor while finger fucking said shit while waiting for my ball hair to be vanquished .

It did not work.

Not. a. bit .

so I made a mad dash for the shower.... a scrambling, hopping , stumbling , smacking myself in the ballsack, tripping and falling down , mad dash for the shower.

Upon reaching my destination, and in my INFINITE KNOWLEDGE , I turn on the hot water full blast and jump in balls first , adding " SCALDED BY HOT WATER " to the growing list of assaults against my ballsack this day.

Idk if you know anything about nair but HOT water makes nair HOTTER too , causing the nair to burn my balls EVEN WORSE , this was also unforseeable in my all knowing , vast sea of limitless knowledge that is my brain .

So.... I finally get the villainous concoction known as nair from off my balls and as I painfully ,carefully , and gently pat them dry I find that, in fact, chemical burn IS the word of the day. Fuck.

Now that's not the worst part , remembering I have a hot date that I'm FOR SURE getting some pussy from this extremely sexy chick , I attempt to find a solution to the issue of my burnt ballsack.

In a perplexed manner w a posture of someone that is similar to a 5 year old pouting , arms crossed and bottom lip sticking out , I take time to evaluate my position.

in the back of my mind I remember , not recalling the directions ( that I did not read ) warning about this chemical burn shit .. (it does).

After some thinking (it wasn't me ears that the smoke was coming from I might add ) I come to the conclusion that the issue is , I have removed some skin from my balls, so then the solution , obviously , would be to add some skin back to my ballsack... and i had just the thing !

NEWSKIN , liquid bandage ! Of course ! "It's brilliant ! "I think to myself , as I cockily Bob my head and turn to grab the liquid bandaid .

Then , without hesitation , I grab and stretch my burnt ballsack , and I tip the container and pour my date saving NEWSKIN onto my ballsack replacing the skin I had lost by not reading the directions , Again not reading the directions.

After all , I'm a man and I already know it all, including how to put liquid bandaid on my balls , because obviously ive had experience with this before, I mean what man hasn't ?
( Insert eye roll here )

OMFG !

Idk if you ever used that shit but it's like iodine x100 as far as the bite and sting of it's application . I witnessed at that moment the nashing of teeth and I seen bright lights and clouds , it almost tore my sole from my body.

all I could do is squeeze my balls in response and retaliation in a pointless effort to intercept and stop the pain . Horrible idea.

It did not work.

So with all that said and done , I am apparently ready for my big date , And I don't skip along , but I'm along , eventually. Now like I said I have my big date and absolutely refuse to admit to this , very attractive and wanting lady , that came home w me , that I had in fact , naired my balls and in doing so severely injured them.

So I do just that and I don't say shit about it , as I attempt to ignore that fact. I pretend with great conviction that i did NOT in fact nair my balls so you can carry on cause there is nothing to see here people.

So we start w the fucking and all I can say is it was THE WORST sexual encounter I have ever had IN MY LIFE.

Apparently my injured balls , several hours later, with a coat of liquid bandage had formed upon it's stages of healing, (and w the introduction of this VERY attractive lady's ass skin) a type of VELCRO that left my nuts slaping , sticking and then clinging to the lady's ass .

They remained there until my back stroke had stretched my ballsack free ending again w a snap like someone popped a towel and smacked my ass , making me jump in timed unison w my balls as they prepared to be velcro once more.

With every stroke my balls stuck and stretched themselves free with a Velcro strip sound followed by a snap as the process repeated . I tried to ignore this .

it did not work.

Another side effect of this process is it also left a series of red splotches that adorned this poor woman's ass cheeks In a ink blot ass cheek pattern.

In realizing my absolute and unconditional defeat ,and as I dismount , I let out a holler that declared mid stroke , " I naired my balls , ok?! I fuckin naired my balls! "

( For some reason that lady stayed around for some time and was a lot of fun in the end , despite my naired ballsack.)

And w that my great and wonderful day was for the most part concluded . Again I share this so no one else has to endure my plight . Learn from my experience !

Don't do it man! ( Although there are whispers that coca butter nair might not be so unforgiving , but these claims have not been fact checked . )

With that being said I bid you to have a good eve!. , ( I did not proof read this work.)

Now be gone w ye peasant!