Not actually. Just needed a gripping title. Not pregnant, definitely no father. How can there be a father when I'm nobody's priority? How can I ask anyone to love me when all I do is beg to be left alone?
So yeah, this distancing thing ain't going so great. Not because it's making it so that I can't see my friends, it's making me realise that my friends have distanced themselves enough from me that not much has changed. Isn't that just wonderful. I can only play so much stardew valley and I can only watch so much tiger king and I'm slowly going mad but I was already fuckin mental before this so three cheers for reby falling apart. I won't survive this so let's enjoy these last few months/weeks/days/moments as much as can be done. And by that, I mean being awake at 1am listening to Fiona Apple because why do anything different.
I'm noticing a pattern in my posts. First I spend a few hours wallowing in self-hatred, then I find comfort in Fiona's shared misery, then I turn to you weird weird bastards to keep me afloat. That's not fair on you. Wow, this is such an abusive relationship we got going on here. I give you nothing, all I do is take. I'm a monster. This is why my quilt is my only company.
HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY
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