Now taking bookings for the winter season.

Our staff are waiting to serve your every need. A smile is guaranteed or your money back.

Choose from our range of quality services:

1. Relax.-o-vision - Our technician will provide an evening of mindless TV on a comfy sofa next to a roaring fire, allowing you to take your mind away from the pressures of the world. Your choice of Judge Judy, Supermarket Sweep, Neighbours and many more. Why not add our premium arm around your waist package and gently caress away the week?

2. Platinum wash - Allow our specialist to attend to your cleaning needs. A full lather is applied, massaged in to all areas and then gently rinsed away. Follow up with a soft rub-down and then lie back in blissful cleanliness as we apply care products to prolong the effects. Now introducing the underbody treatment - keep everything tuned up and in working order with our staff’s dedicated attention to those under-appreciated hidden-away parts.

3. The full Montgomery - Our most popular package is well-sized and sure to delight. Place your satisfaction in our hands. And our mouth. Lie back and enjoy the delights of a tender caress, an expertly-executed exploration of your tender parts, and a passionate meeting of minds and bodies. Includes: titillating touches, captivating kisses, sensual snogging, fabulous fingering, orgasmic oral, and fantastic fucking. Our service will leave a smile on your face and a damp patch on your underwear.

Further services are available on request - our staff will be happy to work with you to discuss your needs and personalise your appointment.

To book your Cucumber Services package simply leave your contact details in a message and our dedicated staff will be in touch. Our services are available across the Greater Dublin area and beyond.

Safety is our priority, and references (including pictures) are available on request.

Special offer now on! For a limited time only take advantage of our special introductory offer! New customers completely free! Yes, that’s right - you can enjoy all this for NO COST! Don’t delay - contact today!

^{Cucumber Services is a company not limited by guarantee. But still pretty fucking awesome. Unregulated by the Financial Services Authority, but what do they know anyway?}