Let me start out with the mandatory RIP inbox. Now that we have that out of the way, let’s begin.

We’re a couple of redditors that recently met up at a local hotel, had a nice, long fuck, then went to dinner and a movie; see our success story here, I’m Mr. Shazam because I knew she’d post it. Now we’re back for more. Not just more with each other, but we’re looking to spread the fun around a little. We’re looking for a third, and we’re looking for a male. We are looking for a meetup sometime early-mid July, so we’re starting our process now!

I know, I know, it’s rare to see posted here, but we’re no shit looking for another cock for /u/missraobj to play with. She’s obviously the F, I’m the M. All messages go through me Do not message her or you will not be considered. After having so much fun the first time around, we met up for a second. Now, to commemorate our third, we want a third. That’s where you come in!

We have a few rules that are non-negotiable. If you’re not cool with this, that’s totally fine, but we won’t consider an applicant without them.

• Papers, please. We’re both tested and verified clean, and want the same from you. Play hard, but play safe.
• Protection is a must. Any penetration (including oral) will use condoms. Non-negotiable!
• Don’t message her. I’ll say it a few more times, but don’t. I’m here to help weed through the DMs.
• Be single. Don’t worry, we’ll be looking for couples later on in the summer to play with, but this time is for the single dudes. (Were also planning a MMMMM4F towards the end of summer, so it’s probably wise to follow along.)
• Send ME a SFW photo, to include your face. No dick pics right out of the gate. If she’s interested, I’ll ask. No dick pics. No dick pics. No dick pics. (Instant DQ cause neither of us are fans, it’s just rude.)
• Be courteous. It’s a threesome, you don’t want to blow your load now.
• There won’t be any M4M action, sorry, dudes aren’t my thing (totally fine if they’re yours!)
• Put the title of your DM as “Pluto” because it’s still my favorite little planet despite what any scientific, snobby, planetary communities say.
• Meetup before the meetup. Before you get to fuck her holes, we (all three of us) have to meet up somewhere in public just to make sure we are all on the same page!

Now for the negotiables:

• We’re looking for someone 27-37, but it’s not a fast rule. If you’re clever enough and we all hit it off, this could be fudged.
• Beard bonus. This is like Hogwarts where the point system is arbitrary, and we award points at whim, but if you have a well kept beard, you’ll get a bonus (she’s a fan).
• Location. We can shift it a little if we need to, but, come on, it’s a threesome! Isn’t it worth fighting LA traffic for?
• Height, weight, all that physical stuff. We’re regular people too and don’t mind donuts after sex, so you don’t really need to fit any physical criteria. (Just be clean and hygienic!)

Oh, man, if you made it this far, congrats. I’m long winded just writing it. But these are the things she and I agreed would be important, so here we are! Put the answer to life, the universe, and everything next to the planet’s name in your title (the one I mentioned earlier). If you’re unsure of the answer to life, the universe, and everything, just google it.

Let’s go. Show us what you’ve got.